It’s Just a Shovel

*the pictures really have nothing to do with this post, but Jack was so cute shoveling the other day, so I thought I’d throw them in.

The other day, the city school had a snow day.  That’s rare with such a big public school, so it was a treat for the kids in our neighborhood to have the day off. 

Have I mentioned I don’t like my neighborhood?  It’s a little ‘inner city’.  It’s a little too inner city for us.  We’d like to have lots of land away from the city.  Maybe this year will be the year we put our house on the market.  We’ve only said that every year for 4 years now.

Back to the snow day -

When we have snow covered driveways in our area, the neighborhood kids like to shovel everyone’s driveways for some cash.  I don’t mind them asking if they can shovel our driveway, but we don’t want to spend money on something we Rick can do just as easily for free, so we’ve always said, “no thanks.”

Well, this Friday, while the kids were roaming the streets in the middle of the day, trying to find something to do with their free time, they decided to do something illegal.  They stole my shovel!!

I was sitting on my couch, sitting with Jack after he’d just gotten up from a nap, when a tall kid in a brown coat and red hat came slowly up to my doorstep.  I don’t usually answer the door during the day, so I let him ring the bell before I got up.  But he didn’t ring the bell, he ran off with my shovel!

Before you chide me for leaving my shovel out on the front step, I have to say that it’s so common around here to leave out your shovel, that I think the odd-house-out  is the one without a shovel sitting out front.

The moment I saw The Boy in the Brown Coat and Red Hat sprint off my front step, I ran to the door, threw it open and yelled

BRING ME BACK MY SHOVEL!!!!!

He didn’t.

Since I was a middle school teacher, and I think I have ‘a way with the kids,’ I decided to go out and see if I could get my shovel back.  I threw some slippers on Jack’s feet, coats and hats on us, and boots on my feet and got us buckled up in the van. 

There is an adjacent neighborhood behind our house, so I drove out of our development and into the next one over.  I figured that if The Boy in the Brown Coat and Red Hat is dumb enough to steal a shovel off of someone’s front step, then he was dumb enough to be walking around with my shovel asking people if he could shovel their driveway for cash.  

I was right.  It took no time at all to find the three boys with shovels.  I parked my van and walked up to The Boy in the Brown Coat and Red Hat.  I asked him “did you just steal my shovel?” Evidently he can’t hear very well, so I had to repeat my question.

“You in the red hat, did you just steal my shovel?”

“Ummmm, yea.”

“I’d like it back, please.” (I gave my best teacher look and voice)

“Okay.” And he handed me the shovel.  Odd, but I was on a roll and couldn’t stop.

“You’re out here making money by shoveling, go buy yourself a shovel!”

That’ll teach ‘im! 

I drove home, proud of myself for getting my shovel back from the idiot Boy in the Brown Coat and Red Hat who thought stealing it was a good idea.  Then I looked at the shovel.

DOH!!!

It’s not my shovel.  It’s a rusty, old piece of junk that belongs to some other poor soul who had their shovel stolen.  The shovel I lost was a beautiful ergonomic shovel with a good sturdy handle.  This shovel was an old, rusty piece of junk.

After a half an hour of trying to locate The Boy in the Brown Coat and Red Hat and his lackeys again who had evidently gone into hiding – from strange women coming up and stealing their shovels – I called it quits.

I went home, put the shovel out on the front step, and went back in my home softly chanting “it’s just  a shovel, it’s just a shovel, it’s just a shovel.”