Not-So-Much

I love being a mom.  I love being a wife.  I love cooking.  I love baking.  These things were not always loves of mine.  The first two obviously came with certain life changing events.  The last two have grown over time.  I love finding recipes and creating delicious meals for my husband and I to enjoy when he comes home from work.  I love baking cakes, brownies, and cookies to have on hand for dessert.  Perhaps this is why I'm not losing any weight.  That's another topic for another day.

With all of these loves come 'not-so-much' moments.  For example, when Jack throws his food off of his high chair, refuses to sleep in his crib by himself, or removes every last item from the lower kitchen drawers, I think "not-so-much!"  When my husband wants to work on the computer in the evenings, watch some weird PBS show, or go to bed right after dinner, I think "not-so-much!"  *For the record, I do enjoy PBS*

It's the not-so-much moments of cooking that have me down recently.  I meal plan, grocery shop every week, and plan yummy -and sometimes healthy- dinners for us throughout the week.  But you know what comes along with the fun cooking?  A crabby baby who doesn't want you to do anything but hold and play with him when you need to get dinner ready.  A kitchen sink that is overflowing with dirty dishes on one side and clean dishes on the other.  A dishwasher that can't be emptied unless the boy is strapped in his high chair, thus keeping his hands out of the clean/dirty/sharp dishes.  Plates, cups and napkins from lunch that haven't been red up (I've got PA in my blood, sorry), because running after Jack is more demanding than those dishes. 

Sometimes, when I look around the kitchen, I feel very defeated.  It is never ending.  A wife and mother's job literally never ends.  I try to think what it would have been like to live in the early 1900's as a wife and mother.  Then I become very thankful for my dishwasher, paper towels, and dish soap.  I do love my life, but sometimes....Not-So-Much!